• Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year?
• Me: Math.

rneowies:

How To Do Everything Last Minute: A Novel by me that I am going to write later

(via givemeblueberries)

avengerstimebitches:

foxnewsofficial:

cock-and-coke-is-my-white-rabbit:

spookyroomba:

foxnewsofficial:

what does tumblr even mean

tumblr means family. and family means nobody gets left behind.

that’s actually kind of touching. 

it’s actually kind of gay

that’s also what tumblr means

(Source: foxnewsofficial, via clickthisyouknowyouwantto)

marshmallowofyourdreams:

insert-awesome-title-here:

jensensparkles:

adrimnzr:

ruffalowildwings:

lilcalcifer:

we found love in a mildly disappointing place

now you’re just somebody that i know by first name

tonight, we are average age

i walk this fairly populated road

carry on my adequately well-adjusted son

shine bright like a metastable allotrope of carbon

(Source: inkse, via maliciously-unhappy)

iwillfucknepeta:

pimpeta-slap:

mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:

pimpeta-slap:

Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”

kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person

*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.

(via maliciously-unhappy)